While communicating with your partner, there are some things which you should never say to them because it can seriously harm your relationship. When you are having fights, you may tell something due to the pressure and may be it unknowingly slipped out of your tongue. Even unknowingly you should never tell them certain phrases as it can give a negative impact to your relationship.
Let us go through some sentences which you should never tell them to their face.
“If you really loved me, you would do it”
This is a kind of emotionally blackmailing sentence. Intentionally you are not meaning anything but for them it may feel like you are trying to manipulate and pressurize them by making them do something which they have no interest to do. Experts say that by saying this sentence, you will create an imbalance and struggle in your relationship. It gradually will lead to anger and frustration. Instead of this sentence, try to say something like, “I am really interested to know why you don’t like doing this” or “Share me the thoughts about why you don’t want to do it”.
“You make me whole”
This statement implies that you are dependent on your partner and it exposes your low self-esteem and confidence. It means that, you were not completely satisfied with what you were before you met your partner. You are putting yourself in a state of vulnerability. It is dangerous to say something like that. It would make your partner more dominant over you. In relationship both should be equal. Try to say, “Whenever we are together I feel strength from inside”.
“I wish things were how they used to be”
We all may have said this to our partner. When both are having hard times, some instances will come into your mind where you both we happy and spent time with each other, enjoying every moment. Understand that we cannot recreate the past, you this statement is irrelevant. They create a sense of longing, yearning and wishful thinking which demotivates your current relationship. Instead of making this statement, say, “Let’s try to put equal efforts to make our relationship colourful as it was before.”
“You are so boring”
This is a very rude statement and by saying this you are hurting the emotion of your partner. This is a negative criticism and it may create harmful separation and division of a relationship. Try to say, “It feels like our relationship is going flat and we need to do something that can bring back the colours of our relationship”.
“Why do you never listen to me?”
Sometimes you feel that your partner is not listening to you. This statement is made when the partner does not maintain a healthy two way communication or they become very blinkered in their opinions. Sometimes repeating this statement emotionally or aggressively will also never work. Try to say, “Can we try to look at this situation together?”
“You are so selfish”
This is a common statement everyone makes in a relationship. This is basically a judgemental and critical statement which makes the other person feel bad and can sometimes leads to disconnection. It usually pops out due to the heat of the moment, but by saying so it can shut down healthy communication.